Cheryl's space

Yesterday I brought food to the local shelter.  Without getting out of the car I handed bags of canned goods out the car window  It is time to give back.  As homeless volunteers grabbed the bags of non perishable food I wondered what they had to be thankful for this year.  I know what it is like to be hungry but these two elderly veterans probably knew more about hunger than I will ever know.  There were no cars behind me so I asked one of them if he had been to Viet Nam.  He said he sure had been in Viet Nam and it made him thankful for being on the streets of Houston where people came out of their homes to care for destitute people like him.  He said he did not have much materially to be thankful for but he was going to be cooking a wonderful meal on Thanksgiving for many others that even had less than he had.  He then rushed off to get the bags I dropped off into the shelter waving as he disappeared. 

I have been asking people all week what they had to be thankful for this year.  I have tried to keep the conversation short but some people are hungry to tell their life story or an aspect of their history that made a mark on them.  I won’t go into the life stories but instead give a brief description of their comments.

At the bay one fellow with his surfboard said he was thankful for the wind we have had at the bay this last year.  He was young and had tattoos and clear skin.  He seemed not to have many marks in his story yet.  Another one at the bay said she was grateful there were no hurricanes or tropical storms this year that forced her family out of their home.  She went on to talk about the damage that hurricane Ike bestowed on them.  I got in my car and went further down the bay to get some pictures of turtles and pelicans.  I noticed that an elderly may was standing looking at his destroyed property on the water.  He is the same man I talked to after Ike came through and he at that time had told me that his daughter was missing.  At that time he had his teenage grandchild with him.  I stopped and chatted with him again.  He did not remember me and said a lot of people came over after Ike to chat with him and give their condolences.  HIs grandchild now lives with one of his sons and still goes to the same school she attended before her mother went missing in Ike.  He said he goes to the bay almost daily to just remember.  I could not bring myself to ask him what he was thankful for this Thanksgiving but he then blurted out that God has been with him everyday of his life and that makes it possible to keep going on and doing the right things for the people left in his life.  Over the last year I have seen him standing there in the same spot many times and it gives me comfort to hear what he is thinking about when he stands there.

As I left I was thinking about “doing the right thing for the people in our lives”  and it seemed so simple but that is what we do everyday of our lives.  Many times in the past year I have felt resentful that I was rarely acknowledged for doing the right things for my oldest daughter and grandchildren. I remembered that I was told many times in AA meetings that gratitude is an attitude that will get us through almost anything and to keep it simple.  To not get worked up about the events in the world and to keep focused on what in my life is “doing the right things” so that when I go to bed at night I can fall peacefully asleep.  The third time I went to treatment for my addiction, many years ago, they would not allow me to read the newspaper or watch the TV in the day room.  I was to no longer focus on those external things that I could do next to nothing about and instead focus on “doing the right things to remain drug free and connected with the important people in my life”. Talking to that old man brought me back to that time when I first learned that lesson.  It also brought me back to what I was thankful for in my life. 

I am thankful for the fact that I need to cook a huge meal for a group of people and that it will turn out wonderful.  I am thankful for having not only family but friends who have stuck with me no matter what.  That was brought home to me when my old boss sent me a note and I talked to her.  After I talked to her she invited me to come for Christmas.  We have somehow been connected since 1977.  When I came to Houston I got another friend and she and I have worked together almost daily since 1983.  When I moved to this neighborhood I decided I needed a friend that was not connected to work and the first person I met has been a friend since 1989. When I decide I need a friend one is always provided and they are friends for life.  That is far more than others have.  

Not only do I have friends but I have family. In the last year my oldest daughter came to her senses and got rid of the boyfriend she had brought into her home to live with her and her kids.  She decided to go back to school  and her oldest daughter signed up for all AP courses at her high school.  Now she will begin college two years early next year.  She will do this while still in high school but it gives her focus in her life.  She was able to set her goals and she is doing the right things at the age of 15 to achieve them.  Even though she has dyed her hair and seems like an alien to me much of the time. she is doing the right things and doing them her way.  12 is healthy and doing fair in school.  She is also an honor student but gets lazy about homework.  Her sister was at that age also so she will get through this stage.  My son-in-law remains sober after his treatment that he left early.  He has refused to talk to me or look at me since he got back from treatment and yesterday was forced to do both.  I had thought he was angry but instead he was full of shame for his binge and the damage it did to his children.  We talked and I could not take away his shame and guilt.  I told him to take the worst shameful moment and wrap it in an envelope to keep in his mind at all times.  Next time he feels like taking another drink he needs to open the envelope and read the documentation of the incident completely before he decides if the next drink is really worth it.  I told him that he still has 12 and that 15 might be back eventually but right now she has moved on with her life and is to fearful of him and her well being with him.  I told him to stay sober and not put the same marks on 12 that he put on 15.  I know that sounds angry and hard but he has to hear it.  I was grateful that I was able to talk to him and give him that message. 

After he left my youngest daughter called from Georgia and tried to figure out how I could be with them during the Christmas holidays.  We might work it out but I also am invited to be with two friends in different states, I still have my daughter in Houston and her two kids and I felt grateful that I had this problem of having so many loving people around me that they all wanted me to be with them on Christmas.  I have tried to “do the right things” and now as I sit back I see that the crop I grew is solid and strong.  So this holiday season I will feel gratitude for all that I have and quit wishing for more material things.

Now I need to start my pumpkin pies since Thanksgiving dinner is only 30 hours away and there is a lot of cooking to be done.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you out there and I hope you have gratitude in your hearts this season.  Throw away the newspaper and turn off the TV.. 

Pictures:  I am grateful that I have a front door to hang a wreath on and I did find that turtle out there…

It has been raining here and turned cold.  Well by cold I mean it is 55 degrees outside.  I am such a wimp that the heat is on.  I have been lazy all day and the only thing I accomplished was to get a new battery for the car and put it in my car.  My Honda just turned over 201,000 miles so I don’t know how many more years it will keep truckin.  Every other car I have owned was lucky to get 100,000.  At that time they always started their death walk.  Not the Honda. 

Something unusual happened on Friday.  I got a note in the mail from my old boss Mary Jane.  I worked for Mary Jane for about 4 years off and on.  At one point I left Ashland and moved back to Superior but after the demise of my marriage I went right back to Ashland.  She and I left that treatment center at about the same time.  She went to Hazelden Hanley in Florida and I went to the corporate offices of Lifemark which in the early 80’s was a huge healthcare conglomerate and later merged with AMI or American Medical International. 

After I read the note I called her and we both updated each other on our activities in the last 25 years.  She lives in a small town of about 1,300 people and the city itself is almost 3 square miles where as Houston is 650 square miles.  It is the very tip of eastern and far northern Minnesota.  It is surrounded by Lake Superior on two sides.  It would be a great place to live if you like smelt and lots of cold and snow.

Significant people in my life live around there.  My ex-husband is very close to that location and so is my youngest sister.  I have never been there but I might have to go check it out when they have their 4 month summer which is not really summer but more like fall weather. 

Anyhow we updated each other on what has been going on in our lives for the last 25 years.  I clearly remember the last time we talked and I believed it was in 1985.  I remember the exact location of the office I was in and at that time I was running a locked adolescent psychiatric and chemical dependency treatment center.  I remember because we had an admission at the same time and it was a 14 year old boy brought in by his minister father and mother.  The boy was tied up in duct tape and in the trunk of their car.  They wanted us to “FIX” their boy who had peeked in his neighbors window.  The neighbor was like 80 some years old.  I don’t know if we ever fixed the kid but we did work on fixing that family.  So anyway I remember talking to Mary Jane as this ruckus was happening outside of my office. 

That job was crazy but fun.  Working with adolescents is a real challenge.  At Christmas that year I got a call from the unit and it was a nurse trying to talk to me with her mouth duct taped shut.  One of the kids was able to get out of the quiet room and he tied up the nurse on duty but couldn’t get out of the locked unit.  This was Christmas Eve and I had my kids waiting for Santa to arrive.  I had to make an emergency visit to the center with the police and then spent the rest of the night talking to the EAP who placed the kid with us.  I wanted the kid moved to another one of our locked facilities on Christmas before my nurse quit.  Of course by then we had the kid under control and I had called in extra staff to monitor him.  I clearly remember being awakened by the EAP’s phone call at 3 in the morning.  I don’t know if I got any sleep that night. 

So anyway I am glad my old boss Mary Jane has found me.  I hope to see her before we die.  We are both getting pretty old.  She older than me… 

The picture is some shelters they are building for homeless.  They sell for $1,500 each.  I don’t think I will be buying one anytime soon but in my 30 foot shed I am finishing for the kids they want lofts in it for bed space.  The ceilings are very high and this little house gave me a good idea on how to put in bunk lofts for the kids without taking up a lot of space to do it.  I will put a ladder at each end of each loft and that will help support the weight of the lofts.  There is enough room in the shed for many lofts but I will build in 4 of them so their friends can bunk out with them.  Enough for now….Hope you are all well.

This reel is now 35 years old and in good shape. I took a couple pics of it.   It was made in Sweden and I or my husband must have bought it after our second child was born in Saint Cloud, Minnesota.  It was made before we started putting plastic parts on fishing reels.  The only thing not made of aluminum and steel is the handle grips that are black and wooden.  The line on it feels like maybe 17 pound test line.  It is stiff line and I don’t like fishing with stiff line so maybe my husband used it.  Each reel has an ideal weight of line and I will have to research what the ideal weight line is for this vintage reel.  I checked it on Ebay and the price right now is $200 for one in such good shape.  That one was missing the seal that mine has.  It looks like a crown and it must be glued on somehow.  Maybe it is welded.  Most likely welded.  It is a reel for big fish like muskie.  I don’t remember using this reel so it may have been my ex-husbands reel.  I did not do that much muskie fishing back then but he used to TRY to catch muskie. 

We may have lived in Saint Cloud then but most likely we had already moved to Bayfield Wisconsin. 

The Garcia reel was made in Sweden.  I will cover another of my reels tomorrow unless I find something to complain about….

Does anyone remember the Ugly Stick fishing pole that came out in the early 70’s.  Graphite's came out in the 60’s and they were the rod to own.  I still have a vintage graphite rod.  Union Carbide subsidized the development of the graphite rods and graphite golf clubs.  Then came the Ugly Sticks that outperformed anything ever created.  The graphite's were wood, fiberglass and graphite.  Graphite was at the time the most expensive rod ever developed.  I think Shakespeare put them out and then there were some patent battles as I recall. 

The Ugly Stick was created by mistake.  The engineers were testing strength with the graphite rods.  They blended fiberglass and graphite together and went home for the night.  The next day they tested what they had and it was far stronger than what had been selling as a graphite rod.   The brought the rod to a company meeting that afternoon and were laughe d out of the meeting because what they created was ugly.  It was a white stick and the pigment showed through.

In spite of this Shakespeare patented the ugly rod and at an annual fishing show hung heavy items from the rod.  It was a contest and the ugly stick beat out every other rod.  Even the French and Italian made very expensive rods. 

You can still get Shakespeare Ugly Sticks that cost anywhere from $40 to $250. In fact I believe they are probably still the best selling rod out there.  We just have not found a way to improve on the Ugly Stick in all these years.  We all still use graphite rods mixed with fiberglass.  I am interested in rods but mostly I am interested in reels.  I have a lot of reels and some of them are in pretty bad shape. 

The problem is that salt water tears everything up and then add throwing stuff on top of them in the trunk and now you have the picture.   I brought my ugly sticks and fiberglass rods to Texas with me and of course my old reels.  I have a vintage Johnson 17 tangle free which I had bought to replace my Johnson Century that I began using as a child in the 50’s.  You can’t really find a 17 tangle free anymore.  Johnson still makes the Century and they continue to be a top seller.  I might even get one for old times sake and because they are great reels.

The other reel I am working on cleaning today is the Daiwa Silvercast 208 RL.  It is in real good working order but at saome point I will get the Goldcast.  I read that the Goldcast is even better.  In either case you will have a hard time tangling the lines on these reels.  They are close faced reels but I still prefer an open faced reel.  I have one in the car and I still have my fathers reel.  Now he has been dead since 1971 so you know that is real old.  I have no idea when he got it but I am sure it was in the 50’s or 60’s.  It is in the shed so I will get it out tomorrow to take a better look.  In fact I will continue this tomorrow when I have a chance to get a good look at all my reels…

BTW I caught 3 sand trout's on Sunday.  Everyone was snagging sand trout.

Just another fishing lesson... 

Friday and Saturday nights are the worst.  Last night my daughters house had 9 teenagers in it overnight.  My daughter was out on a date and I ended up supervising all those kids.  There were 3 extra cars in the driveway and one had a flat tire.  Luckily they were all girls.  At 11:30 a man showed up with his foreign exchange student who apparently had been invited.  He wanted to make sure there were no boys, drugs, alcohol, and nobody was piercing or cutting themselves.  I told him he had pretty much covered the field and nobody was doing that.  He took a look at the house and the kids and then asked if I was going to be there the entire time so they were not left unattended.  I reassured him that I would and after he drove out of the driveway I handed over $40 for pizza and went to my house where I went to sleep.  When I woke this morning I found that 12 had hid her purse in my house. 

All these kids were part of the drama club at the high school and had just finished a performance.  They have another one tonight and today they are judging talent contests in local middle schools.  They showed up at my house at 7:30 this morning for breakfast.  It is a tradition that I always make the morning meal.  They gulped down half a gallon of Sunny D,a quart of milk, a pound of bacon, 18 scrambled eggs, and 12 pancakes.  A few extra kids showed up for breakfast and I don’t know if the extras actually slept at my daughters or if they just dropped in to go with the other drama queens and have a bite to eat. 

Finally everything is settling down again.  It made the dogs tired and they are passed out in my house.  I am sneaking out while the sneaking is good.  Been wanting to go fishing and rain is coming.  It is now or never….  Later